朱自清《荷塘月色》-汉译英（之二）

2009-12-31  09：30-10：40
（中文原文）沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。<?xml:namespace prefix="o" ns="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office">

（雨尘试译） Along the lotus pool, there is a zigzag lane with breeze. This is a quiet lane, there are very few people here on the day, more quiet at night. Around the lotus pool, plenty trees grew flourishingly. On one side of the lane, willows and some other unknown trees stood there. Without moonlight, the lane would be very dim, a little terrible. This evening, the moonlight was weak, but very fine.

（标准译文）A cinder - path winds along by the side of the pool. It is off the beaten track and few pass this way even by day, so at night it is still more quiet. Trees grow thick and bosky all around the pool, with willows and other trees I cannot name by the path. On nights when there is no moon the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quite clear, though the moonlight was pale.

（中文原文）路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。

（雨尘试译）On the path, only I strolled with my hands behind. It seemed to belong to me all the space. I also felt I was in another world beyond the normal myself. I love jollification, I love calmness too. I love to infest, I love to be alone too. Tonight, under the moonlight, I could think about anything, and I could think about nothing, I felt I was so free. By day I had to do something, I had to say something, but now I just put all those aside. Being alone take us so many good, I just enjoyed the fragrant lotus and the beautiful moonlight.

（标准译文）Strolling alone down the path, hands behind my back, I felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine and I had stepped outside my usual self into another world. I like both excitement and stillness, under the full moon, I could think of whatever I pleased or of nothing at all, and that gave me a sense of freedom. All daytime duties could be disregarded. That was the advantage of solitude: I could savour to the full that expanse of fragrant lotus and the moonlight.