My dream

　　My dream is to be a tercher.because i can teach many students.i can make friends with them.i'm going to stdy hard.i'm going to learn english very well because i want to be an english teacher.i'mgoing to pratise my english every day.i'm going to beijing foreige language  university and i'm going to learn english there.i also like foreige culture.i'm going to learn english in america or emglish. 

　　浙江省嘉兴市南湖区三水湾中学701班  陈子琪

　　批 改 老 师googler评      分90分级      别优秀批      改

　　1、a tercher 拼写错误 a teacher

　　2、i'm going to stdy hard.i'm going to learn english very well because i want to be an english teacher. 此句过于冗长，根据前后内容，可改为i'm going to study english hard.because i want to be an english teacher.  注意单词拼写：study.

　　3、i'm going to beijing foreige language university and i'm going to learn english there.i also like foreige culture.i'm going to learn english in america or emglish.  此句前后没有条理性，表达不清楚，有重复，可改为： i'm going to learn english in beijing foreign language university .i also like foreign  culture. at last, i'm going to learn english in america or england  some day. 单词拼写错误:  foreign   english

　　4、在表达有先后顺序的步骤时，可适当地运用一些词：first (at first )   next   then   last(at last,  finally)等等。

　　参考例句(文)

　　My dream

　　My dream is to be a tercher.because i can teach many students.i can make friends with them. first ,i'm going to study english hard.because i want to be an english teacher. then, i'm going to learn english in beijing foreign language university . i also like foreign culture. at last, finally,i'm going to learn english in america or england some day.