boys and girla :
may i have your attention , please ? now i'd like to make a speech here .
at present , it's an universal phenomenon that many students often waste food and let the water running after washing , which will do great harm to our limited resources . meanwhile , we may develop the form of much bad habits in turn .
so , in this case , i want to make a call on all the students to protect our environment and make a contribution to the economical society as well . only by this way can we have a more harmonious world .
that' s all , thank you !
批 改 老 师oscar评 分80分级 别优良评 语
批改:
1. boys and girla : 开头称呼单词拼写有错误。
2.it's an universal phenomenon that many students often waste food and let the water running after washing , 首先,冠词使用错误;其次,后边应该是动词原形。
3. we may develop the form of much bad habits in turn . 本句话说的啰嗦,直接就说 our bad habits will be developed.
评析:
本文是一篇发言稿,所以在格式上应该符合发言稿的格式,比如在最后落款没有发言人的姓名等;其次中间出现了几个语法错误,而且书写不是太规范。希望继续努力!!!
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