三岛由纪夫 - 金阁寺里的摘抄及中英翻译对比 I

《金阁寺》里的那个“我”是个怎样的人呢？

我一方面幻想着将平素蔑视我的老师、同学通通处死；一方面又陶醉于作为内心世界的主宰、充满沉静谛观的大艺术家的梦想之中。

“我”那阴暗的内心

我想当艺术家，又过于傲慢，做一名暴君或大艺术家吧，但仅仅停留于幻想，丝毫不愿意着手干一点儿实际的事情。

(I was too proud to be an artist. My dream of being a tyrant or a great artist never went beyond the stage of being a dream, and I did not have the slightest feeling of wanting to accomplish something by actually putting my hands to it. )

我唯一的自豪，就是不被人理解，所以未曾有过一次让人理解我的冲动的表现。我认为，自己命中注定不为他人所注意。孤独越来越肥硕，简直就像是一头猪。

(Because the fact of not being understood by other people had become my only real source of pride, I was never confronted by any impulse to express things and to make others understand something that I knew. I thought that those things which could be seen by others were not ordained for me. My solitude grew more and more obese, just like a pig.)

屹立在京都市北区的鹿苑寺(金阁寺) 又是怎样的呢？

犹如皓月当空，金阁作为黑暗时代的象征而被建造。因此，我梦想的金阁周围必以浓重的黑暗为背景。金阁静静坐落在黑暗中，优美、细密的梁柱构造，从内里微微闪耀着光辉。不管人们对这幢建筑物作何评论，美丽的金阁总是无言地显示着纤细的构造，忍耐着周围的黑暗。

(Like a moon that hangs in the night sky, the Golden Temple had been built as a symbol of the dark ages. Therefore it was necessary for the Golden Temple of my dreams to have darkness bearing down on it from all sides. In this darkness, the beautiful, slender pillars of the building rested quietly and steadily, emitting a faint light from inside. Whatever words people might speak to the Golden Temple, it must continue to stand there silently, displaying its delicate structure to the eyes of the world and enduring the darkness that surrounded it.)

这种美是一种可以伸手可及，举目渴望的美。

然而，金阁对于我决非一种观念，而是一个实体。尽管群山阻隔着它的远景，但只要想看，走到那里就能看见。美，是一种伸手可及、举目可望的东西。我知道并确信，即使在各种纷乱的变化过程中，不变的金阁依旧端然而在。

(But for me the Golden Temple was never simply an idea. The mountains blocked it from my sight, yet, if I should want to see it, the temple was always there for me to go and see. Beauty was thus an object that one could touch with one’s fingers, that could be clearly reflected in one’s eyes. I knew and I believed that, amid all the changes of the world, the Golden Temple remained there safe and immutable.)